I can't believe I've
started writing this and it's not even December yet. Apparently Sam wanted to
be a part of the "30" club. Brian's birthday, J's birthday, and our
anniversary all fall on the 30th of their separate and respective months. Brian
had predicted a week or so ago that she would come on the 30th and he was right
in predicting James's birthday as well. I was just so convinced she would be a
December baby that it's hard to wrap my head around.
The day before she
was born I woke up feeling no different than days before, still sick, no extra
cramping or Braxton-Hicks outside of what I'd already been having, etc. I had
some baby prep things I planned for us to get done that day like installing the
base for the infant car seat, setting up the pack ‘n’ play in our room, washing
out the baby bathtub, and cleaning the kitchen. All of the last minute things I
really wanted done in case baby came on the first like I had been thinking she
might.
Late in the morning I
got what felt like a really, really bad sinus headache but only on the left
side of my head that I could feel in my face and through my neck. Since I had
caught James's cold/flu bug several days before it was definitely possible but
it felt different. I know migraines tend to have that trait but I have had a
few and this wasn't quite that bad/the same. I tried a hot steamy shower, using
the neti pot, and I had Brian rub my neck for awhile. I even popped a Tylenol
which I rarely do during pregnancy because the amount you're allowed to take
doesn't really help anything anyway. A little while after he massaged the area
that seemed like it could be causing it I noticed the pain significantly
decreasing. With an increased fervor to make sure I got that list of things
done, I got to work. I was surprised how much of an urge I felt to get these
last minute things completed but tried not to read much into it since my
nesting urges had been fairly strong for quite awhile.
During and after
dinner baby was moving A TON. She had been extremely active my entire pregnancy
so "A TON" is not to be taken lightly. I was having periodic
Braxton-Hicks and in-between baby was nonstop moving. It was sending twinges
down my legs from her hitting nerves that it was making it difficult to walk
normal. It was kind of like walking and having your knee go out except it was
my whole leg.
We put James to bed
around 6:30pm since he skipped his nap that day and by this time baby had
settled down. I also noticed that my lower back was starting to hurt which I
knew was likely a sign of impending labor for me because 1) it's how things
started about 24 hours before I had James 2) one of the midwives mentioned that
I would likely have back labor again 3) this type of dull pain in that area is
not a normal part of pregnancy for me. I had been texting on and off with my
mom that afternoon/evening about how I was feeling, if there were any changes,
when I thought baby would come, etc. One of her texts specifically asked me
"when do you think baby S will arrive?" I had literally been thinking
about the answer just before she asked and my response was, "I think
sooner than later...next few days. I would be surprised if I made it past the
3rd." I mentioned that I wanted to tell her and my stepdad to come down
just in case so they didn't "miss it" this time but I also didn't
want them to have to make the drive for no reason. I updated my mom before I
went to bed around 9:30pm saying that the pain in my back was still there and I
was having only sporadic, far-spaced, painless contractions and with the
promise to update her if something changed, even if it was the middle of the
night.
So, just in case, I
made sure I had the last few toiletries packed for the hospital bag, took a
belly picture, and we went to bed.
I had been having restless sleep the last
few nights thanks to this awesome cold/flu business and also thinking about my
impending labor. This night was no exception. I can't remember any specific
details, but I'm fairly certain I got up to use the bathroom once or twice.
When I got up again at about 3am, I knew something was different. The
pain in my back was much more significant and was joined by pain in my lower
abdomen as well. I couldn't feel any specific contractions at this point, but
(sorry for the TMI) I did have to poop which is not normal for the middle of
the night and also another really strong sign that I was about to go into
labor.
After using the
bathroom I decided to go sit in the living room and see if I was contracting at
all, I wanted to be sure before I made a 3am phone call only to tell my mom I
pooped (haha!). Within minutes of sitting down I suddenly felt a surge in my
back pain that last a little bit and then died off, I didn't wait for another
and at 3:07am made the phone call to tell my mom I was most likely in labor.
She asked some questions and told me to let her know the timing between my next
two contractions. We hung up and I began timing them only to learn they were
about 4-5 minutes apart. I suddenly remembered why I had such a hard time
believing I was in labor when I was pregnant with James, all the pain and
tightness of the contraction was in my lower back, absolutely nothing in my
stomach (yet). So it was completely unlike any Braxton-Hicks contraction I'd
had. Even knowing that this was what labor was for me I struggled a little to
believe it again, but continued to prepare anyway. With a little sadness I
texted my mom to update her, knowing there was no way they were going to make
it down before the baby was born, she said they were getting ready to
leave.
I timed out a few
more contractions to confirm what I anticipated, they were already closer
together, 3-4 minutes apart. I then went to the basement and grabbed a pillow
and a big blanket and threw them on the couch and then decided to call the
midwives. It was 3:26am. I stood in the kitchen and answered their questions
while I worked through another contraction slightly bent over and rocking my
hips. The pain was there but I could still talk through it easily. I told them
that this was and will happen very quickly, and they said they would call the
midwife and let the hospital know. I went upstairs and finally woke up Brian.
I leaned over from my side of the bed to rouse him. He stirred and looked
at me and asked if everything was okay. "We're having a baby." I said
with a smile, still having a little difficulty believing it myself. He
immediately sat up, "Right now?! Do we need to go the hospital now?!"
"Not quite yet," I said, "but pretty soon." It was 3:30am.
He got up and started getting ready and asking me questions when I noticed my
phone ringing and answered it, it was Susan, the midwife on call. She asked me
a couple questions, and I reminded her as well that my first labor was fast and
this one was going to be too. She asked where we lived and when we were
leaving, I told her in about 15 min and she said she would get going and meet
us at the hospital.
At 3:32am I
called my friend Afton who was "on call" for me in case I went into
labor and we needed someone to watch James. She answered the phone and I said,
"Hi, I'm having a baby" again, with a smile on my face but still not
quite believing it. She responded with a sleepy, "Okay, what do you need
me to do?" I asked if she would come over and she agreed. I told her not
to crazy rush but to kind of hurry. She said okay and we hung up.
While Brian started
the car and got changed, I also changed, put in my contacts, and pulled my hair
back all while working through contractions as I got ready. I went in to check
on James quick before we had to leave, an insane swirl of emotions going
through me about what was happening and what this was going to mean for him
when he woke up. I didn't have time to really process it or deal with it so I
pushed it back and allowed myself to savor him being my only child for this
quick second, the last time that I would see him that way. For just a second I
even debated on waking him up but knew that wouldn't help anything. I left his
room forcing myself to focus on what was physically happening.
I went downstairs and
got ready to leave. I filled a water bottle (something I really wished I'd had
during my first labor), and threw some snacks in my purse while Brian let
Callie out. I had been a little hungry when I woke up but didn't want to eat
anything and knew I'd want/need something after the baby was born.
Callie seemed slightly confused about what was happening, but determined
to be a part of it. I was wearing yoga pants and a big sweatshirt and Brian
asked if I wanted a jacket since it was below freezing outside, but I said no.
I didn't want to deal with another layer. We waited only a couple more minutes
and then Afton pulled in. She walked in with her 18 month old daughter (which I
felt awful about but wasn't really in a state to address) looking tired but
excited for us, and I was shocked at how quickly she had gotten to our house
with her daughter in tow. I told her there was a blanket and pillow on the
couch, info for James was hanging on the pantry door, and that she could lock
Callie up if she got annoying and then we left.
We walked out to
Brian's running car and were about to get in when he realized he needed his
other set of keys to unlock it which were only sitting on the deep freeze in the
garage, but it was enough time that I had to stand in the middle of the
driveway and breath/rock through another contraction. As soon as I felt
it easing up I got in the passenger seat and off we went. Two minutes later I
got a text from my mom saying, "On our way now what is the update?"
It was now 3:50am. I called her to tell her we were on the way to the hospital,
my contractions were only a few minutes apart, and Afton was with James. That
was about the gist of our conversation as I felt another contraction coming on
and it wasn't going to be easy to talk through. I remember we were just getting
to the on ramp as I hung up with her. I had a few more painful contractions as
we made the rest of the 15 minute drive to the hospital. I was starting to moan
through them a little bit now, partly because all the breathing out partnered
with being congested was drying my mouth out really bad and partly because it
actually helped a little more as the pain was now radiating across my belly as
well.
We parked right in
front of the skyway in the parking garage that led to the maternity area. Only
a few steps into the skyway and I had to stop and lean forward on both hands
against the window framing to work through another contraction. As soon as it
let up enough we started walking again, had them buzz us in because it was
before hours, and walked into the hallway that leads to the elevators that sit
one floor above the maternity ward. I didn't even make it halfway to the
elevators before having to, again, stop and brace myself on the window to work
through another contraction. I stopped in almost the same spot when I was in
labor with James, the only difference was this time it was dark out. We took
the elevators down a floor and came out on the maternity ward. We walked to the
welcome desk through the doors on our right and Brian checked us in while I
leaned on the desk and moaned through yet another contraction, bringing back
more memories of doing this exact same thing with J's labor. Thankfully this
time we were immediately brought to a room close by.
On the way I asked if
I could get in the tub but they said baby needed to be monitored for a little
bit first to confirm everything was okay. We walked into the room and I walked
around the far side of the bed and slid my shoes off. I leaned forward on the
bed, bracing myself with my hands as I felt another contraction ramping up. The
nurses said there was no monitor in the room so we were going to move next
door, I told them it would be a minute and they said that was fine. Brian
grabbed all our stuff and as soon as the pain let up enough we went next door.
I took off my sweatshirt and tossed it on the couch and again walked to the far
side of the bed and resumed my previous position. I looked up at the clock:
4:15am.
One of the nurses,
very tall and pregnant herself, told me they wanted to check my cervix and to
slip off my bottoms and get on the bed when I could. I felt the next
contraction coming on so I said after this one, and asked for the shades to be
closed. At some point around now I also asked if they could get the tub ready
so I could get in as soon as they would let me, another nurse started on that.
Knowing the contractions were happening fast, the second the pain let up enough
I took off my bottoms and got on the bed. Another nurse immediately started
hooking me up to the monitor to listen to baby for a few contractions (I handed
Brian my cami), she asked me, "when they check for baby's heartbeat where
do they usually hear it?" I pointed to the bottom left side of my belly
and she placed the monitor there with another one about 5-6 inches above that.
The tall nurse checked me and confirmed what I suspected: 7-8cm dilated. All I
could think was "yess." The midwife hadn't arrived yet, but I wasn't
worried since she knew about what time we should have gotten to the hospital.
Even though they
weren't tight at all, having the monitors on my stomach was really
uncomfortable, just the very slight pressure from it. I asked if I could stand
up next to the bed with them on since contracting while lying down was
extremely uncomfortable on my back. She said that was fine but I wouldn't
really be able to walk anywhere. I tolerated the monitors holding onto the
thought that I would be getting in the tub soon. I was now working through all
my contractions in the same position, standing next to the bed, feet shoulder
width apart, but leaning over and bracing myself with both hands, my sweatshirt
draped over my lower back to keep me somewhat covered from behind, even though
I knew all sense of modesty would be out the window very shortly. Brian stood
next to me as my moans grew louder with each, more painful contraction,
becoming more painful than any contraction I had with James. Brian tried
placing a hand on my back, sort of an "I'm right here" gesture but
even that bothered me too so I had him take it off. Instead he stood right near
me, handing me the water bottle when I asked for it, and encouraging me.
There was never
complete pain relief between my contractions. I had a constant moderate pain in
my lower back throughout my entire labor. I told the nurses that I needed to
pee, which surprised even me. They unhooked the cords from the monitor machine
and draped them around my neck so I could walk to the bathroom. I peed way more
than I expected and noticed that the tub was ready to go for me. Just a couple
more minutes I told myself, hoping the warm water would take the edge off the
pain in my lower back.
I walked back out of
the bathroom and felt another contraction coming on. I tossed the ends of the
cords on the bed to be hooked back up and noticed that this contraction was a
little less painful. I hoped emptying my bladder had lessened some of the
pressure. I asked if I could get in the tub but they wanted a few more
contractions monitored first. The next contraction ramped up and I knew
immediately that emptying my bladder didn't change the pain. I was moaning
fairly loudly at this point, even standing up on my tip toes as the pain peaked
while the nurses and Brian continued to offer words of encouragement.
Through the next couple contractions I noticed that it started to almost
feel like I had to pee again, but not quite. It was a little different and I
knew it was a pressure that was happening near my cervix because I felt it the
most at the peak of my contractions, like something was pushing on it. I asked
again if I could get in the tub. They called the midwife, who still wasn't
there yet, to confirm that it was okay. She requested that I be checked before
I get in. I told them I was at 9 cm. I knew I was close to 10 but hadn't felt
the urge to push yet, when I hit 10 with James the pushing was immediate and
out of my control. I asked them if I had to be on the bed for them to check me,
already knowing the answer, but REALLY not wanting to have to lie down. They
said yes and quickly, in between contractions, the tall nurse checked me again
and confirmed that I was at 9 cm with a "huge, bulging bag of waters."
I said I know I can feel it every time I contract. Because I was so far along,
the midwife wouldn't allow me to get in the tub in case my water broke. I
actually started bargaining with the nurses, "Please, just one
contraction??" I only got replies of "sorry..." I knew I
couldn't but I wanted the edge taken off the pain, especially in my lower back,
so badly. Instead they helped me into a hospital gown.
Brian stood on my
left, right next to me, while I moaned very loudly, almost sounding like I was
crying, as I worked so hard to keep my head in check while working through the
most painful contractions, moving up onto my tip toes and rocking with the peak
of the pain. 4:42am, at the peak of my second contraction after they checked
me, my water exploded all over the floor between my feet. It was like someone
popped a gigantic water balloon between my legs, soaking even the bottom few
inches of my gown. Brian told them my water just broke, which I probably would
have laughed at if I wasn't still in so much pain, since "broke"
seemed like such a bad description of what just happened. The whole room
probably heard it. As soon as the pain subsided enough I said something like,
"That was so crazy!" And the tall nurse laid some towels between my
feet to help soak it up and confirmed that the fluid was clear. It shocked me
how much I was able to talk/interact between contractions, because I felt like
a completely different person when I was contracting: so completely aware of
everything going on with my body and completely unaware of what was happening
around me.
The nurses said to
get on the bed if I felt the urge to push and I noticed the midwife was in the
room. I never worried about her getting there in time because baby was coming
regardless and there were plenty of capable people around to deliver and I was
ready to be done. She asked me to get on the bed so she could check me since I
was close to pushing. I knew I was at 10 cm, but getting on the bed sounded
like the worst idea ever with the pain radiating in my back.
I got on the bed and
as she was getting ready I asked her to look at my birth plan, which she kind
of laughed about considering how far progressed I was. I told her please, I had
a 4th degree tear with my first baby and I wanted her to help me avoid that
this time as best she could. She understood and was ready to check my cervix.
At 4:43am she confirmed that I was fully dilated and I immediately rolled
onto my left side as I endured another contraction, nowhere close to my ideal
position, but better than being on my back. They took apart the bed and got my
feet in the stirrups, which surprisingly helped the pain a little bit. She told
me I could start pushing with my contractions.
Brian stood on my
right, right next to the bed with his hand touching my shoulder. I had a death
grip on the bedding on either side of the bed as I felt my next contraction
coming on and I pushed for a second or two, stopped, pushed again, stopped,
pushed again. Working with my contractions, moaning (almost yelling) loudly
through them, my eyes closed with effort, but not straining myself like I was
coerced into doing with James's delivery. My breathing became a little out of
control between contractions and I vaguely noticed I was starting to sweat. The
midwife staying very calm told me I needed to take a breath and hold it for a
second so I wouldn't hyperventilate. In my head I was thinking, "that's
ridiculous, I'm not going to hyperventilate, I've never done that before in my
life!" but I also knew that I couldn't control my breathing either so I
did my best to try even though it wasn't easy.
The next contraction
ramped up and this time I could feel my body pushing with it, I pushed in a
similar rhythm as before and felt things become much more painful as baby moved
even lower. It is fondly referred to in the pregnancy world as the "ring
of fire" and something I never really experienced with James since they
encouraged me to push too quickly. All I could say was "it hurts!!"
and the midwife said she had lots of pressure on my perineum and asked me a few
times to hold my legs but I just couldn't do it. Instead the nurses did it and
I immediately felt my hips open up. I would have sworn the baby's head was
sticking halfway out by the pain I was feeling and then the midwife commented
that she could see about a golf ball size of the baby's head. "That's
it?!" I thought to myself. I was SO ready to have her out of me. The next
contraction came on and again I started pushing the same way, holding each push
a little longer, willing her out with each one. On my fourth push I felt her head
move out and the midwife say, "Here come the shoulders." And I was
being told to look as I pushed the rest of her out but I knew the relief I was
about to feel and I just focused on pushing, a second later she was out and on
my chest all covered in vernix and blood and goo and completely amazing. I
couldn't believe we had another child, our daughter, lying on my chest, tears
threatened to spill over as I soaked in the moment. Samantha gracefully
celebrated the moment by peeing on me which we all found a little comical, and
I didn't care whatsoever. She was here and amazing and it STILL felt so
surreal. I pulled off the upper part of my gown and snuggled her skin to skin
so I could share my warmth with her, not caring about anything else, just
soaking it all in.
 |
| 4:59am, our first picture together while I got fixed up |
I asked if the placenta had been delivered
yet, even though I hadn’t felt it, only because I remember it happening very
quickly after James was born. The
midwife said no and asked me to try pushing and sure enough I felt a small
contraction and delivered the placenta. Eventually the midwife said she was
going to clamp the cord because it had stopped pulsating and Brian cut it. Then
she immediately got started with numbing me and stitching me up. “Only” a
second degree tear this time which seemed like no big deal compared to James’s
delivery. I started the post-delivery
shaking, also something that happened with James, and did my best to stay
relaxed while I asked for the blanket we brought with that had been made by
Brian’s cousin Michelle at my request for this exact purpose. Unfortunately it was pretty cold so they
stuck it under the warmer and quickly got me a different one. After a little while I talked about wanting
to nurse Sam but the nurse suggested that I wait just a little bit so the
midwife could finish stitching, since I wasn’t exactly in an ideal position. Instead I eventually handed Samantha to the
nurse to be weighed and given vaccinations.
Brian followed to trim her cord and watch while the nurses worked.
I had been guessing that Sam would be very close to 8lbs, maybe
just a little shy if I had her at the very beginning of December or
sooner. They weighed her in at 7lbs
13.9oz and 19 inches of perfection
created especially for us. They wrapped her up and gave her back to us and we
each held her before she and I snuggled under the blanket we had brought and I
got to nurse her for the first time.
 |
| First snuggles with Dad |
We finally shared the news with our immediate family that Samantha Jo had made her arrival.
 |
| Sent from Afton shortly after we shared the news :) |
God is SO good.
Love,
-K
"For you created my inmost being; you knit me
together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and
wonderfully made." - Psalms 139:13-14
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