My birth experience with James went exactly how I wanted it to except for the very end and the doctor who delivered him (one I had never met before). In simplest terms, I tore very, very badly and the degree to which I did was the doctor’s fault for more than one reason, and then she made it sound like it was my fault. That part of my birth was not a good experience for me and it took me a really long time to stop being angry about it. I will not give any more details, but I know there are some first-time pregnant mamas reading this (or maybe someone with a similar experience) and I don’t want to scare you. If you want to know more details, I’m happy to share them – just send me a message. I will say to the credit of the doctor that she did a wonderful job of stitching me up and while it took a lot longer to heal than a “normal” experience would have, I have no lingering issues or problems.
So because of this experience Brian and I discussed
different birth options for this time around.
This is something I looked into months before actually getting pregnant
so that I could be prepared when the time came.
Since J was a surprise I just did what I knew and that was to use an
ob/gyn and give birth at the hospital. This
time we had narrowed it down to two options: using a midwife and having a home
birth (I would really have liked to do a midwife and a birth center birth but
there is only one option for that in my area and I wasn’t a fan of it) or using
the Iowa Methodist Midwives. They are a
hospital-based practice of five Certified Nurse Midwives which means baby will
still be born at the hospital.
Brian and I talked about it a lot, him being okay with
whatever I wanted to do since it ultimately affected me the most, and I decided
to go the Methodist Midwives route. I
did free consultations with both places and this is where I felt most comfortable. Since my labor with James was so quick,
there’s a good probability that baby number two will also be quick, possibly
even quicker, so fear of the midwife making it on time and that sort of thing
also played into this. And I didn’t
dislike my hospital birth at all except for what I discussed above.
The biggest difference between this route and the ob/gyn
route is that I’m guaranteed one of these five women to be present at my birth
and they will stay with me during the birth.
They aren’t going to sit and stare at me while I’m in the tub or
something but they don’t just pop in to deliver baby and leave. They also have
about 2/3 fewer patients than an ob/gyn so my care will be much more
personal. I worried about my choice at
first, but I am very comfortable with my decision.
So May 16th was my first check-up. They did all the background info and took
blood, etc, and then to my surprise she said we were going to listen to baby’s
heartbeat! I was so surprised because I
didn’t expect them to do that until the first ultrasound/next appointment. I asked her if I could record it since Brian
wasn’t there (and let’s face it, grandparents love this sort of thing) and she
said of course. So I started recording
and she searched around for baby’s heartbeat. She searched and searched and all
we could hear was my own pulse. She left
to get a different Doppler that was older but tended to work a little better, I
tried not to worry. She started again
with the new Doppler, searching and searching and still nothing. I’m still trying reallyyy hard not to worry
because I know it’s still pretty early and there are a lot of good reasons not
to worry. She said she was going to go
get an ultrasound machine so we could check on baby quick so I wouldn’t have to
be left worrying over the weekend. I was freaking out a little in my head
because I was about to see baby for the first time AND Brian wasn’t there AND
what if something was wrong? She left and I shot a quick text to Brian and my
parents relaying the situation and asking them to pray that everything was
okay.
She came in with the ultrasound machine and got things set
up. She informed me that she is in no
way an ultrasound technician but that they were learning how to use the machine
and so this would be good practice for her (and no charge to me!). Her machine was fairly unsophisticated so I
wouldn’t be able to hear baby’s heartbeat or anything but we would definitely
be able to see the little peanut and check on its heart.
She got started and quickly found the amniotic sac with our
little one (and only one) in there! It was obvious immediately that baby was
moving around quite a bit so that was a huge relief and upon closer inspection
we were easily able to see its heart beating at a good healthy pace. YAY!! I
quickly texted the good news and went back to staring at baby. Since everything makes me tear up these days,
I was shocked that I didn’t get emotional.
I think not hearing the heartbeat still makes it feel a little
surreal. She printed me several
pictures, none of which are the greatest, but we have a “real” ultrasound
appointment on May 21st so we’ll get some good shots then and hear
its heartbeat! She took a measurement of
baby to the best of her abilities and it matches right up with how far along I
believe I am so that was nice to hear.
My check-ups will be monthly now until 28 weeks (I believe)
and then every other week and then weekly. So my next baby check-up is coming
up this Friday and our 20 week ultrasound appointment will be mid-July when we
get to find out baby’s gender! We definitely plan to find out the sex of the
baby, but we haven’t talked about if we are going to keep it a secret or
not. I’m thinking probably not because I
would have a really hard time not letting that slip but we’ll see! Regardless
of what we decide baby’s name will definitely be a secret until it’s born.
Sorry for the novel, but yay for a healthy baby so far!
*Update*: Our "real" ultrasound appointment went wonderfully. Baby has a good healthy heartbeat and was still moving around like crazy in there. James came with to the appointment and he kept pointing at the screen saying "baby! baby!"
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| Baby waving at us <3 |
Love
-K
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