An update on me and baby three. I'm just going to put it out there that baby three was a surprise, but not unplanned in the true sense of the word. Brian and I always knew we wanted two maayyybe three kids. We had been in discussion for awhile weighing the pros and cons of trying for number three. The gist of those discussions was me wavering hard one way and then later the other way. Brian would have sealed the deal on no more kids immediately had I given the okay. Then slowly things started changing. I had a lot going on in my brain space over this third kid idea. And for quite awhile, before I even associated this with having another kid, I felt like someone was missing. Like there was someone else I was supposed to be taking care of, that I had another lunch I had to be making, or the dinner table feeling a little empty even though everyone was present. I never focused on it too hard. I just sort of brushed it off as my mom brain going a mile a minute all the time making sure the needs of my kids were met that it didn't know what to do when I had a brief period where someone didn't need something from me. Then I had several mom friends announce third child pregnancies which added another layer to my mix of emotions, feeling left behind, what if we're waiting too long, but I don't know if it's right for us, etc etc. Then I had Brian with a couple of random comments of, "It wouldn't be totally terrible to have a third kid." Which is definitely not a "yeah, let's do this!" And so we were still in limbo. Finally, we began praying together specifically that God would make it very clear to us one way or the other what He wanted for our family. Not long after that I found out I was pregnant.
(Things are about to get a tiny bit TMI here, sorry about that, it's a pretty cool part of our story though.) I normally have pretty long cycles. It's not unusual for me to go 40-50+ days between periods. But I was over 60 days now and my body felt so wonky and off. A friend told me that taking a lot of vitamin C can help induce your period which I didn't know, but I did know that if you are pregnant it can cause your body to abort the baby. I figured I'd take a pregnancy test to be extra sure, confident that I wasn't pregnant, and then go get some vitamin C. Sunday June 4th, not long after getting home from church, I went upstairs to take a quick pregnancy test and planned to go get vitamin C later that day. I figured my body needed the extra help since I had recently weaned Samantha and my hormones were probably all out of whack. I did my business and set a timer to check it in a couple minutes. The timer went off and I flipped the test over and what I saw literally took my breath away. A without-a-doubt YOU ARE SO PREGNANT set of the darkest lines possible for a pee-on-a-stick test stared back at me. Shock and amazement and the realization that this was definitely not the way I had expected God to answer our prayer. I later counted back to realize I had gotten pregnant on day 42 of my cycle.
I waited an impossible hour and half for the kids to eat lunch and go down for naps before informing Brian of the news. I didn't even have an eloquent way to share it. I had him sit down with me on the couch and I just blurted it out and handed him the test when he didn't believe me. We talked, which mainly consisted of different phrases of disbelief and nervous giggles, and Brian also added that God had definitely been working on his heart about the idea of a third kid. Which was especially amazing to hear because whenever someone asked us about more kids my joke was always that Brian would get a vasectomy tomorrow if I was okay with it, which was extreme but still pretty accurate.
I'm still adjusting to the idea of adding another little person to our family. I'm having such a hard time imagining what that will look like, what even he or she will look like! It's hard for me to think of another little boy in our family that isn't James or another little girl that isn't Samantha.
One thing that's easy for me to see is that this baby was very meant to be for us. Between my unrealized feelings long before, to the insane timing of getting pregnant (who gets pregnant THAT far along in a cycle?!), to the change in Brian's heart, I have full trust that God is in control and created this baby especially for us.
Love,
-K
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